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What Your Car Says About You

A brief description of what your car says about you:

Acura Integra I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars 
Acura Legend I’m too bland for German cars 
Acura NSX I am impotent 
Audi 90 I enjoy putting out engine fires 
Buick Park Avenue I am older than4 of the 50 states 
Cadillac Eldorado I am a very good Mary Kay salesman 
Cadillac Seville I am a pimp 
Chevrolet Camaro I enjoy beating the hell out of people 
Chevrolet Chevette I like seeing people’s reactions when I tell them I have a ‘Vette 
Chevrolet Corvette I’m in a mid-life crisis 
Chevrolet El Camino I am leading a militia to overthrow the government 
Chrysler Cordoba I dig the rich Corinthian leather 
Datsun 280Z I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well 
Dodge Dart I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower 
Dodge Daytona I delivered pizza for four years to get this car 
Ferrari Testarossa I am known to prematurely ejaculate 
Ford Fairmont (See Dodge Dart) 
Ford Mustang I slow down to 85 in school zones 
Ford Crown Victoria I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change lanes when I pull up behind them 
Geo Storm I will start the 11th grade in the fall. 
Geo Tracker I will start the 12th grade in the fall. 
Honda del Sol I have always said, half a convertible better than no convertible at all 
Honda Civic I have just graduated and have no credit 
Honda Accord I lack any originality and am basically a lemming. 
Infiniti Q45 I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending. 
Isuzu Impulse I do not give a damn about J.D. Power or his reports. 
Jaguar XJ6 I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year. 
Kia Sephia I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp. 
Lamborghini Countach I only have one testicle 
Lincoln Town Car I live for bingo and covered dish suppers 
Mercury Grand Marquis (See above) 
Mercedes 500SL I will beat you up if you ask me for an auto-graph 
Mercedes 560SEL I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole 
Mazda Miata I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen- wheeler 
MGB I am dating a mechanic 
Mitsubishi Diamante I don’t know what it means either 
Nissan00ZX I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings. 
Oldsmobile Cutlass I just stole this car and I’m going to make a fortune off the parts 
Peugeot 505 Diesel I am on the EPA’s Ten Most Wanted List 
Plymouth Neon I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena 
Pontiac Trans AM I have a switchblade in my sock 
Porsche 911 Turbo I have a three inch thingie 
Porsche 944 I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me 
Rolls Royce Silver Shadow I think Pat Buchanon is a tad bit too liberal 
Saturn SC2 (See Honda Civic) 
Subaru Legacy I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior than Isuzu 
Toyota Camry I am still in the closet 
Volkswagon Beetle I still watch Partridge Family reruns 
Volkswagon Cabriolet I am out of the closet 
Volkswagen Jetta GLX I am hung like a dead horse. 
Volkswagon Microbus I am tripping right now 
Volvo 740 Wagon I am frightened of my wife